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My hair journey started before I was born. My parents were working at a natural/holistic health institution when my mother was pregnant with me. My mother, who has normal to thin hair and who was already into natural remedies, herbs and self healing decided that she would do all in her power to provide her child with a full healthy head of hair. So she drank every tea,* took every herb* and ate a diet rich in everything that would promote hair growth. I don’t know what they were but when I was born I had a full, thick, head of curly hair. It only got thicker as I grew.
By the age of three my dear mother was realizing that she may have gotten more than what she bargained for. I was a little bitty person with A LOT of hair. Combing it was a nightmare. I would start to cry at the sight of a comb and she had to strap me into the highchair to keep me from running away. I would cry from start to finish. To say that I hated to have my hair combed would be an understatement.
Amazingly I liked my hair; I just hated to have it combed. When it was done I liked the texture and feel. I liked to look at the waves in the mirror and play with the ends as I read. Deep down in my heart I knew that one day I would figure out how to do it. Some potion or product would be invented to make my hair “manageable.”
High School
I had been unofficially growing my collar bone length hair out for about four months. There was a girl in my class who had her hair natural. She usually wore it in a puff but some times she would do finger coils.
I had always admired natural hair. I tried unsuccessfully to lock my permed hair the summer befor – don’t laugh I didn’t have a clue – after seeing a co-worker’s beautiful butt length locks. She was from Jamaica and kindly explained to me that I would need to cut off the perm. She also warned me away from the crazy ideas that I had found on the internet (bees wax, back-combing, glue).
Still I wanted natural hair and was ready for the change. I happened to be running for student government social vice president. My platform was, “Its time for a change.” I figured that this would be a good excuse to do “The Big Chop.”
I went to a hair cutter in the mall. If I remember right she was white. After making sure that I was sure. She picked up a large section in the front and –SNIP! There was no turning back.
I remember watching my hair fall to the ground. I remember feeling a little sick and slightly panicky. But I kept reminding myself of what I wanted and I figured that I would win the election. And with that I consoled myself.
I was blessed. Everyone was shocked but my friends were supportive. The girl in my class gave me some ideas. My confidence in my decision grew every day.
Oh yeah, I won the elections by a landslide.
In College
I had been wearing my hair natural for almost a year mostly in a puff. Some times in a full blown afro or an afro with the front clipped back. But I was going to be going to college in the fall and I wanted to be sort of low key.
I was going out of the country to study in Trinidad. All the changes and uncertainty made me a little wary of wearing my hair in a full blow afro. But I wasn’t going to perm it. Crochet/latch hook braids were big then so that is what I decided to do. I could do them myself. All I would need was to find someone to cornrow my hair straight back for me. And I was going to a predominatly black country how hard could that be.
That worked for a while but after a few months it began to be a chore. Getting my hair cornrowed back and then having to be held up in my dorm room sweating putting in my crochet braids. Not to mention running out of braids and having to wash them and wait for them to dry.
You may ask me, "Why didn’t you just wear your hair natural?” Good question. When I look back I wasn’t really secure enough to be that different. It was a bit of a culture shock being in another country even though there was so many black Trinidadians.
Noone that I noticed wore their hair in an afro or a puff. Some wore braids but the majority seemed to wear a relaxer.
I was the only black American at the college at the time so I was already odd. People I didn’t know noticed me and many felt at liberty to share their opinion of what they though of everything about me from my accent to the way I dressed.
The turning point came one day when I was preparing my hair to put in the latch hook braids. Up until that time noone had seen my actual hair. I had just had it cornrowed straight back. I needed to go to the cafeteria and it was do my hair or skip my meal. I choose to eat. When I walked in I could feel dozens of pairs of eyes on me. And heard the whispers, “Look at her hair.”
It was to much. I was tired of hiding my hair but unprepared to wear it natural. The next day I went and had my hair relaxed. I was tired of being so different. Relaxer remorse kicked in soon after.
I had spent most of my time on campus and hadn’t really gone to the capital, Port of Spain. On my first trip there it was so much to see. I think I was going to get my hair relaxed at a salon recommended to me by a friend.
What caught my eye more than anything were all of the natural heads. It is ironic but as I was getting my hair relaxed there was a client sitting in the chair with me getting their locks groomed. I realized that I had made a mistake.
That was my last perm. At least for six years. I started getting braids and then did another big chop. This time I rocked my ‘fros and puffs unashamed. I realized no matter what you do, people are going to talk.
Totally Natural Again
I wore my hair in a free natural for about two years, usually in a full from or pulled up into a puff. Then I started to look into locks. My first choice where Sisterlocks because of their size and style ability but they were out of my budget.
So I began my research in to locks and locking. I was finding very little information that covered all aspects of locked hair and all methods. I started interviewing lock wearers to learn their stories, motivations, and methods. I was planning to write a book on locking. By the time I was finished I had interviewed over 30 lock wearers and loctitians from all walks of life.
I settled on locking my hair with double twists because of its mixed textures. I wore locks for three years and learn a lot about locks and natural hair care along the way.
I ended up taking my locks down. Yes, locks can be taken down. It is a long tedious process but it is doable.
The new experience with natural hair again was a new learning opportunity. My hair was much longer and I had learned how to cornrow and twist and do natural styles because of my locks. I also perfected braiding and twisting with and without extensions.
It was during that time that I really learned how to stay natural. I would say learning how to do my own extensions is a skill that I am glad to have. There are times when you just don’t want to have to deal with your hair and having the ability to do a style that will last for a few weeks is a huge blessing. It helps make chemicals less of a temptation.
My Last Perm and Beyond
My resolve not to chemically process my hair broke in the fall of 2005 a few months before I got married. I had straight hair for my wedding. With in a month I was back transitioning back to natural hair. I did a BC in August 2006 and am have been happily natural ever after.
My sweetheart loved my long hair so I have learned the art of weaving, perfected putting in my own braids and twists, and have been know to wear the occasional wig. As my hair has grown, so has his appreciation of its coily beauty.
I would say that Natural Hair Care Guide is as much for me as it is for you. As I share what I have learned over my natural journey, I learn more. The more I learn the more convinced I am that there are more natural hair care options out there then there are reasons to perm your hair. My goal is to provide you with all those options and to stay natural myself.
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Peace... :)